Quotes & Jokes by George Carlin / page 23
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?
Who would have thought that the manufacturing of sticks would be outsourced to China?
Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
I was taken to the hospital for observation. I stayed several days, didn't observe anything, and I left.
If a painting can be forged well enough to fool experts, why is the original so valuable?
A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, "He was a loner." Well, of course he was a loner; he killed everyone he came in contact with.
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.