Quotes & Jokes by George Carlin / page 24
In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who "don't know." What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn’t your biggest problem.
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong?
When you stress individualism, as this country does; materialism, as this country does; personal weaponry, as this country does; and racial hatred, which is part of our heritage as white Europeans; and then you add the volatile ingredient of nothing.
If acting was hard for me, I wouldn`t do it, it is something that I like to do.
It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.