Quotes & Jokes by Jim Carrey / page 6

Nice jump, Spider-Man!

Now you know the house rules, no !@#$% after eleven

I just wanna hang out. No big deal!

You were never there for me were you mother? You expected Mike and Carol Brady to raise me! I'm the bastard son of Claire Huxtable! I am a Lost Cunningham! I learned the facts of life from watching The Facts of Life! Oh God!

Morgan Freeman is so class. He's so cool. He's so scary.

Either you're the one erasing or you're the one being erased.

Life is an ordeal, albeit an exciting one, but I wouldn't trade it for the good old days of poverty and obscurity.

Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.

Holy Testicle Tuesday!

I got you the big screen TV, deluxe karaoke machine, and THX quality sound that would make George Lucas cream in his pants!

This country has helped define me and make my dreams come true.

I have been the guy who has everything but yet is so one-track minded about what I want, that I can't see my blessings.

I think I could go away tomorrow. I've already accomplished something. It's such a selfish business that sometimes I get sick of myself.

I absolutely want to have a career where you make'em laugh and make'em cry. It's all theater.

I tend to stay up late, not because I'm partying but because it's the only time of the day when I'm alone and don't have to be performing.