Quotes & Jokes by Jim Carrey / page 6

I haven't been as wild with my money as somebody like me might have been. I've been very safe, very conservative with investments. I don't blow money. I don't have a ton of houses. I know things can go away. I've already had that experience.

Nice jump, Spider-Man!

Christmas was really where I started coming into my own as a performer because I did all this stuff on my own, all this performing on my own, When other kids were outside playing, I was in my room conjuring characters and impressions and things like that.

This country has helped define me and make my dreams come true.

Holy Testicle Tuesday!

I absolutely want to have a career where you make'em laugh and make'em cry. It's all theater.

If I had never ventured beyond being a stand-up comic, then I would be sitting in my house today working on my Leonardo DiCaprio impression.

Now you know the house rules, no !@#$% after eleven

You were never there for me were you mother? You expected Mike and Carol Brady to raise me! I'm the bastard son of Claire Huxtable! I am a Lost Cunningham! I learned the facts of life from watching The Facts of Life! Oh God!

Life is an ordeal, albeit an exciting one, but I wouldn't trade it for the good old days of poverty and obscurity.

Either you're the one erasing or you're the one being erased.

I have been the guy who has everything but yet is so one-track minded about what I want, that I can't see my blessings.

How about you go over and introduce yourself, build me up, that way I don't have to brag about myself later.

Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.

Morgan Freeman is so class. He's so cool. He's so scary.