Quotes & Jokes by Jim Carrey / page 6

Nice jump, Spider-Man!

Now you know the house rules, no !@#$% after eleven

You were never there for me were you mother? You expected Mike and Carol Brady to raise me! I'm the bastard son of Claire Huxtable! I am a Lost Cunningham! I learned the facts of life from watching The Facts of Life! Oh God!

I just wanna hang out. No big deal!

Morgan Freeman is so class. He's so cool. He's so scary.

Either you're the one erasing or you're the one being erased.

Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.

Life is an ordeal, albeit an exciting one, but I wouldn't trade it for the good old days of poverty and obscurity.

Holy Testicle Tuesday!

This country has helped define me and make my dreams come true.

I have been the guy who has everything but yet is so one-track minded about what I want, that I can't see my blessings.

I got you the big screen TV, deluxe karaoke machine, and THX quality sound that would make George Lucas cream in his pants!

I absolutely want to have a career where you make'em laugh and make'em cry. It's all theater.

I think I could go away tomorrow. I've already accomplished something. It's such a selfish business that sometimes I get sick of myself.

Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.