Quotes & Jokes by Jim Carrey / page 6

I just wanna hang out. No big deal!

Now you know the house rules, no !@#$% after eleven

Nice jump, Spider-Man!

You were never there for me were you mother? You expected Mike and Carol Brady to raise me! I'm the bastard son of Claire Huxtable! I am a Lost Cunningham! I learned the facts of life from watching The Facts of Life! Oh God!

Either you're the one erasing or you're the one being erased.

Morgan Freeman is so class. He's so cool. He's so scary.

This country has helped define me and make my dreams come true.

Life is an ordeal, albeit an exciting one, but I wouldn't trade it for the good old days of poverty and obscurity.

I have been the guy who has everything but yet is so one-track minded about what I want, that I can't see my blessings.

Holy Testicle Tuesday!

Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.

I got you the big screen TV, deluxe karaoke machine, and THX quality sound that would make George Lucas cream in his pants!

I think I could go away tomorrow. I've already accomplished something. It's such a selfish business that sometimes I get sick of myself.

If I had never ventured beyond being a stand-up comic, then I would be sitting in my house today working on my Leonardo DiCaprio impression.

I absolutely want to have a career where you make'em laugh and make'em cry. It's all theater.