Quotes & Jokes by Jim Carrey / page 7

Hey man. It's me again. I was just taking a whizz. Thought you might have called. Okay, later.

I think I could go away tomorrow. I've already accomplished something. It's such a selfish business that sometimes I get sick of myself.

We had problems like all families but we had a lot of love. I was extremely loved. We always felt we had each other.

I got you the big screen TV, deluxe karaoke machine, and THX quality sound that would make George Lucas cream in his pants!

I tend to stay up late, not because I'm partying but because it's the only time of the day when I'm alone and don't have to be performing.

Ever since I started to get recognition I've picked out certain fans and reverse-stalked them.

Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.

There's new territory, there's new places to go, new things to explore. Why stay back there? Maybe it will take three films to find another character that is really totally original, but I've got a lifetime, so why waste it just repeating myself.

Caaaaaaaable guuuuuuy!

Well this is just a fist. But when I start throwing it around I can leave one hell of a mess.

Hi, ladies. My name is Charlie Baileygates. Would you like to see my weasel?

This concludes our broadcast day. Click.

Hey ringworm.

If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer!

For some reason I did something where I realized I could get a reaction. That was when I broke out of my shell at school, because I really didn't have any friends or anything like that and I just kind of was going along, and then finally I did this zany thing, and all of a sudden I had tons of friends.