Quotes & Jokes by Jim Carrey / page 9

I used to draw a lot. If my mother would ask me to do something else, I'd have a hairy conniption. I'd just go crazy.

Don't you get it? Someone has to save all the other cable boys and girls, someone has to kill the babysitter.

I just want to be myself.

There was a time when people said, "Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that." Now they just say, "Pay him!"

The inner child runs rampant. They're just smaller, that's all.

Free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

I've tried everything. I've done therapy, I've done colonics. I went to a psychic who had me running around town buying pieces of ribbon to fill the colors in my aura. Did the Prozac thing.

I don't make it in regular channels, and that's okay for me.

It's nice to finally get scripts offered to me that aren't the ones Tom Hanks wipes his butt with.

I'm very in love, but I'm not going to jump up and down on your couch. I'm sorry.

She just gave blood and she's still got enough to fill up her face.

I want to be the greatest actor that ever lived, frankly. I'd love that. But I don't need to be. I just want to be here. That's it.

I enjoy fame except when I'm with my daughter. Kids stop me all the time and I don't want her to be jealous of the attention. Also, sometimes I just want to be left alone and I refuse to make rubber faces. That's when they start asking, "What's the matter, man, don't you like your job?" I say, "Yeah, I like my job. But I also like having sex, and I'm not going to do that in front of you either."

I don't think you can know God unless you're passionate about him so you're either screaming at him, enraptured with the idea of being around him or feeling him in your life.

My dad was like a stage mother he always pushed me to do what I wanted.