Quotes & Jokes by Mort Sahl / page 4
People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.
The beat generation is a coffeehouse full of people expectantly looking at their watches waiting for the beat generation to come on.
There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
In addition to optimal atmosphere, the tight-knit staff at Kelly's made performers feel welcome and above all respected. Elsewhere, that wasn't always the case. I made some good friends there. It was a wonderful place. You never missed home when you were there. I was having a good time, and people were awfully good to me.
Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.
My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.