Quotes & Jokes by Phyllis Diller / page 7
When I go to the dentist, he's the one that has to have the anesthetic.
Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
Fang's breath is so bad the dentist works on him through his ears.
Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator.
When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
Fang is so dumb. When he won his letter for high school the coach had to read it to him.
My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.
I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.
My mother-in-law buys her coats in a carper shop. She wears a 9x12.
I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you’ll ever have!"
I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.