Quotes & Jokes by Red Buttons / page 4
Peter Minuet, who said to the Indians in modern-day Manhattan, "Will you accept a check from a Puerto Rican bank?" Never got a dinner!
Adam, who said to our Lord in the Garden of Eden, "I got more ribs - you got more broads?" Never got a dinner!
Making you a pioneer only means one thing. You were around at the time.
Billy Carter, who asked his brother Jimmy, "Do you think you could get me on the Gong Show?" Never got a dinner!
Julius Caesar’s wife, who said to Julius, "We are not naming our son Sid!" Never got a dinner!
Lot, who said to his wife as she was being turned into a pillar of salt, "Stop shaking!" Never got a dinner!
Pliny the Elder, who when Rome was burning requested Nero to play "You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille." Never got a dinner!
Moses, who said to the Israelites, "Stop calling me Charlton!" Never got a dinner!
Simon Peter, who embarrassed the other disciples at the Last Supper by asking for seconds." Never got a dinner!
The captain of the Titanic, who said to room service, "Who sent for all this ice?" Never got a dinner!
King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, "Who doesn't have a headache tonight?" Never got a dinner!
Abraham Lincoln, who said, "A house divided... is a condominium." Never got a dinner!
John Travolta, who said, "My Saturday night fever was nothing compared to my Sunday morning rash." Never got a dinner!
Nancy Reagan, who said to Jerry Zipkin, "What do you wear to a recession?" Never got a dinner!