Quotes & Jokes by Red Buttons / page 5
Sydney Poitier, who said to Lester Maddox, "Guess who’s not coming to dinner?" Never got a dinner!
Queen Elizabeth, who said, "Not now, I'm on the throne." Never got a dinner!
Dick Clark’s wife, who said to Dick on their honeymoon, "That was your third blooper tonight." Never got a dinner!
E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, "You look weird." Never got a dinner!
Dr. Spock, who said, "Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected." Never got a dinner!
Eve, who said to the serpent, "I could go for a little nosh but I don't know you from Adam." Never got a dinner! (Got an apple, but never got a dinner.)
Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, "It’s only a nickname." Never got a dinner!
Attila the Hun, who said, "Sure, I pillage; it’s a living." Never got a dinner!
Goliath’s mother, who said to Goliath, "Stop running around with David! You're always coming home stoned!" Never got a dinner!
Sleeping Beauty, who said to Prince Charming, "Are you sure all we did was kiss?" Never got a dinner!
Maid Marion, who said to Robin Hood, "I will not live in a house with a Little John." Never got a dinner!
King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, "Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea." Never got a dinner!
Joanne Carson, who said to Johnny, "Not so fast: what about the loose change in your pockets?" Never got a dinner!