Quotes & Jokes by Red Buttons / page 5
Sydney Poitier, who said to Lester Maddox, "Guess who’s not coming to dinner?" Never got a dinner!
Clint Eastwood's sex therapist, who said to Clint, "Do it any which way you can, but no sudden impact." Never got a dinner!
Joanne Carson, who said to Johnny, "Not so fast: what about the loose change in your pockets?" Never got a dinner!
Maid Marion, who said to Robin Hood, "I will not live in a house with a Little John." Never got a dinner!
Eve, who said to the serpent, "I could go for a little nosh but I don't know you from Adam." Never got a dinner! (Got an apple, but never got a dinner.)
Goliath’s mother, who said to Goliath, "Stop running around with David! You're always coming home stoned!" Never got a dinner!
John Travolta, who said, "My Saturday night fever was nothing compared to my Sunday morning rash." Never got a dinner!
Vincent Van Gogh, who said to the hat salesman, "I like it, but it keeps sliding over my ear." Never got a dinner!
George Washington, who said to his father, "Dad, if I never tell I lie, how am I ever gonna become President?" Never got a dinner!
Rip Van Winkle, who said, "Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom." Never got a dinner!
Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, "How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant!" Never got a dinner!
Attila the Hun, who said, "Sure, I pillage; it’s a living." Never got a dinner!
Dr. Spock, who said, "Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected." Never got a dinner!
Nostradamus, who predicted he would never get a dinner! Never got a dinner!