Quotes & Jokes by Richard Lewis / page 10

I like to isolate if I can avoid myself.

My grandmother was a Jewish juggler: she used to worry about six things at once.

I bug myself to take the pressure off of my pals.

If I could rent someone else's subconscious occasionally maybe I could get a decent night's sleep.

If there is reincarnation and I come back as myself, I'll kill myself.

I stopped having intimacy problems when my lovers did impressions of other women.

I started having intimacy problems during my breast-feeding.

Marriage was the only way to truly find out that I was the wrong choice.

The only person I can barely compromise with is myself.

As a child my parents said they believed in Santa Claus but that I didn't exist.

My family tree had some poisonous roots.

If I can keep away from myself I'll have a great weekend.

Sobriety is something you do for yourself. I sure don't miss blackouts but the downside is having the clarity to know who I am.

My family taught me to take regrets one day at a time.

My mom had gossip dyslexia... she'd gossip in front of people's backs.