Quotes & Jokes by Richard Lewis / page 10
I stopped having intimacy problems when my lovers did impressions of other women.
My mother was taught by a nasty ventriloquist who lived nearby my childhood home to throw guilt without moving her conscience.
Marriage was the only way to truly find out that I was the wrong choice.
My grandmother was a Jewish juggler: she used to worry about six things at once.
If I could rent someone else's subconscious occasionally maybe I could get a decent night's sleep.
If you make love - if you're lucky enough to have a partner - let it out. Shriek like a baboon, man. I have this theory: at the moment of my conception, my mother shushed my father during his orgasm. It gave me low self-esteem.
As a child my parents said they believed in Santa Claus but that I didn't exist.
Sobriety is something you do for yourself. I sure don't miss blackouts but the downside is having the clarity to know who I am.