276 quotes
You can lead a fanatic to water but you can't make him think.
My parents took a leave of absence moments after my birth.
My shrink gives me 75 per cent off if I make believe I'm someone else.
An amateur ventriloquist, my dad could throw his chest pains.
My shrink told me it was pointless to believe in myself.
When in doubt you might be right.
Nothing is happening but I'll ruin it.
My ego wears an Ace bandage.
There's no place like home that's why I never went back.
My therapist thinks I'd be better off living in a dream-state.
I've learned the hard way. Now I only strive for imperfection.
I wear ear condoms. I don't even want to listen to what I might be contracting.
I never thought that intolerance would be patriotic.
My mother was taught by a nasty ventriloquist who lived nearby my childhood home to throw guilt without moving her conscience.
My grandmother was a Jewish juggler: she used to worry about six things at once.
