Quotes & Jokes by Richard Lewis / page 16

Nightmares are killing me so I'm going to sleep doing impressions.

She was wacko. She was an only child, but she still had a sibling rivalry.

I just fired my shrink. She called me the "Every-Mess."

I am much more comfortable in someone else's skin.

Life can be a bitch so at least try not to fall in love with one.

They say, "you only hurt the one" you love, so thankfully I'm off the hook.

The more you want the less you get.

Dealing with joy sometimes is more difficult than overcoming adversity if you enjoy self-loathng as a hobby.

I get intimacy booster shots once a week at my doctor.

If I keep all my disorders to a minimum every day then by about 2053 I should have a handle on practically nothing.

Don't take death for granted.

My nightmares have coming attractions.

My nightmares have coming attractions.

I don't like horror movies because I'm squeamish. But I go because my ex's like to go. They like to pull for the antichrist.

I people-please everyone but myself.