Quotes & Jokes by Richard Lewis / page 4
I usually meet people at my doctors' offices because I go all the time. It's embarrassing. Like at the skin doctor last week, in the lobby, the nurse said, 'Hi Mr. Lewis. Do you still have that rash on your behind?'
Before I have masturbation, I say to myself, 'Break a leg.' While I masturbate, I actually fantasize that I'm somebody else. In fact, if I do it in different rooms, I actually feel that I'm cheating on myself - which is sad.
My beautiful rescue dog, Bella Luna Lewis, has decided to put me up for adoption.
I hired three people to watch my back but they were killed so now I have a team of gypsies watch my future and let the present worry alone.
I would believe in reincarnation but too many of me ex-girlfriends did and it isn't worth the risk.