Quotes & Jokes by Richard Lewis / page 5

I'm the first person in history to die in my own dream but It turned out only to be a stunt double.

I never care what people think of me, especially myself.

We can't agree on religion and guns and economics and sadly civil rights but if the wealthy won't chip in for the needy we are done.

When I was a kid my family said having feelings was an act of treason.

My parents didn't want to get divorced until they passed away.

I don't care what people think of me because I never cared what I thought about myself.

Acceptance and forgiveness are crucial components to a happy life and hopefully I can find mine in storage.

Perception is reality; so being so twisted I have no idea who I ever was which was a really lucky break.

If you have a date tonight, play it safe and leave your heart at home.

I'm looking forward to yesterday.

You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar, but either way you've got flies.

I can't sleep because I keep dreaming that I'm me...

I live in a predominantly anxious section of town.

Nothing is happening and that is a very cool sign.

If you are going through an emotional nightmare be grateful that it is only a nightmare.