Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 10

And the French! The French have a bomb too! Maybe they have the Michelin Bomb- ah! Only destroys restaurants under four stars! They are the one of the only people that still test their bombs! Where do they do it? In the Sahara, in the total wasteland? No, fuck off! In Tahiti! In paradise. Why? Because we're French. Oh, look, a Greenpeace boat coming to protest- fuck off, I sink you.

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.

I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

I was the equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would throw copies of Byron in my face!

You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I'll guarantee you'll win.

If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there.

We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering - these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love - these are what we stay alive for.

There are no rules. Just follow your heart.

After a while, you just kind of chill. It just becomes a whole different lifestyle and no one bothers you.

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

Every human being has an impact on another.

I feel like I'm a big human snot.

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.