Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 11
I always wanted to play a big, black man, but that would cost too much make-up.
What's true in our minds is true, whether some people know it or not.
Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer." Why not have a realistic beer commercial, with a realistic thing about beer, where someone goes, "It's five o'clock in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time."
Spielberg is so powerful he had final cut at his own circumsision.
I love the guys who say "I watch NASCAR for the racing." Yeah, and I watch porn for the acting. You liar!
If there was a pill that allowed you to drink and not get drunk, an alcoholic would go "What happens if you take two?"
They should have little disclaimer that says - "Do not operate heavy machinery while watching this show!"
If that man in the PTL is such a healer, why can't he make his wife's hairdo go down?