Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 11
Okra is the closest thing to nylon I`ve ever eaten. It`s like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.
I always wanted to play a big, black man, but that would cost too much make-up.
Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
What's true in our minds is true, whether some people know it or not.
Spielberg is so powerful he had final cut at his own circumsision.
I love the guys who say "I watch NASCAR for the racing." Yeah, and I watch porn for the acting. You liar!
Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer." Why not have a realistic beer commercial, with a realistic thing about beer, where someone goes, "It's five o'clock in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time."
If that man in the PTL is such a healer, why can't he make his wife's hairdo go down?
They should have little disclaimer that says - "Do not operate heavy machinery while watching this show!"
If there was a pill that allowed you to drink and not get drunk, an alcoholic would go "What happens if you take two?"