Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 11

Every human being has an impact on another.

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.

There are so many beautiful parts of the world... Thailand, Italy, the south of France. There are places in Spain that are astonishing. But here... 25 miles and you go up on Mount Tam to see the fog come in; 25 miles the other direction and you're somewhere else that takes your breath away. There's no question this is where I want to live. Never has been.

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp.

Look at us - we're a San Francisco wedding cake.

The only thing I'm really suited for is the musical version of Congo.

I always wanted to play a big, black man, but that would cost too much make-up.

Eat what? There's nothing here! Gandhi ate more than this!

When I find out a hotel doesn't have a DSL, it's like "What? There's no toilet?" Once you get used to high speed you ain’t going back.

Ah... so many pedestrians, so little time...

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes.

I love the guys who say "I watch NASCAR for the racing." Yeah, and I watch porn for the acting. You liar!

This is brought to you by HBO, which is a subsidiary of Time Warner, also owned by America Online. You've got mail! I hope you don't have stocks.

We are so excited about adding additional incentives to the program. It gives them a fun reason to exercise and learn about geography as well.