Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 12

Eat what? There's nothing here! Gandhi ate more than this!

I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.

If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there.

I always wanted to play a big, black man, but that would cost too much make-up.

The only weapon we have is comedy.

And now that you have a child you have to clean up your act, 'cause you can't drink anymore. You can't come home drunk and go, "Hey, here`s a little switch: Daddy's gonna throw up on you!"

You're still young. Being a true loser takes years of inaptitude.

This is brought to you by HBO, which is a subsidiary of Time Warner, also owned by America Online. You've got mail! I hope you don't have stocks.

Look at us - we're a San Francisco wedding cake.

If that man in the PTL is such a healer, why can't he make his wife's hairdo go down?

It's nice to be in Washington, where the buck stops here. Way to go. And then it's handed out to AIG and many other people.

Montovani? They play Montovani to insomniacs that don't respond to strong drugs.

For a while you get mad, then you get over it.

A place where we all go can’t be bad.

You can start any Monty Python routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.