Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 12

I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.

If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there.

I always wanted to play a big, black man, but that would cost too much make-up.

Look at us - we're a San Francisco wedding cake.

And now that you have a child you have to clean up your act, 'cause you can't drink anymore. You can't come home drunk and go, "Hey, here`s a little switch: Daddy's gonna throw up on you!"

There are so many beautiful parts of the world... Thailand, Italy, the south of France. There are places in Spain that are astonishing. But here... 25 miles and you go up on Mount Tam to see the fog come in; 25 miles the other direction and you're somewhere else that takes your breath away. There's no question this is where I want to live. Never has been.

You're still young. Being a true loser takes years of inaptitude.

This is brought to you by HBO, which is a subsidiary of Time Warner, also owned by America Online. You've got mail! I hope you don't have stocks.

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

It felt wonderful doing it. But that's rather like urinating in brown velvet pants. It can feel wonderful, but no one will watch.

If that man in the PTL is such a healer, why can't he make his wife's hairdo go down?

Montovani? They play Montovani to insomniacs that don't respond to strong drugs.

We're all worms, but I do believe I'm a glowworm.

Being a famous print journalist is like being the best-dressed woman on radio.

For a while you get mad, then you get over it.