Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 13

We're all worms, but I do believe I'm a glowworm.

The only thing I'm really suited for is the musical version of Congo.

Being a famous print journalist is like being the best-dressed woman on radio.

Women! Can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em!

It felt wonderful doing it. But that's rather like urinating in brown velvet pants. It can feel wonderful, but no one will watch.

I called them and told them we were coming and said I didn't know how many we were bringing. They said bring them all. They said even if they had to get cots and line them all up, they would accommodate us. It's been great.

[Imitating a Frenchman] Fuck you Americans! Uncultured, crass Americans! We hate all of you! Fu- the Germans are here! Hello Americans! We love you!

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material.

I thought the purpose of education was to learn to think for yourself.

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist.

I think that after you get married a third time you have to give up a body part. Larry King would just be a head on a fucking stick.

We're not laughing at you - we're laughing near you.

Our freedoms are under siege - for our own good, they tell us.

I'm going to go to Kennebunkport and see if they respond any quicker!

We're dealing with fundamentalists... the Amish are fundamentalists, but they don't try and hijack a carriage at needlepoint. And, if you're ever in Amish country and you see a man with his hand buried in a horse's ass, that's a mechanic. Remember that.