Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 13

You can start any Monty Python routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist.

Women! Can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em!

It felt wonderful doing it. But that's rather like urinating in brown velvet pants. It can feel wonderful, but no one will watch.

I called them and told them we were coming and said I didn't know how many we were bringing. They said bring them all. They said even if they had to get cots and line them all up, they would accommodate us. It's been great.

For a while you get mad, then you get over it.

We're all worms, but I do believe I'm a glowworm.

Being a famous print journalist is like being the best-dressed woman on radio.

We're not laughing at you - we're laughing near you.

I think that after you get married a third time you have to give up a body part. Larry King would just be a head on a fucking stick.

I thought the purpose of education was to learn to think for yourself.

I'm going to go to Kennebunkport and see if they respond any quicker!

[Imitating a Frenchman] Fuck you Americans! Uncultured, crass Americans! We hate all of you! Fu- the Germans are here! Hello Americans! We love you!

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material.

On stage you're free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you'd be arrested.