Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 13

A place where we all go can’t be bad.

[Imitating a Frenchman] Fuck you Americans! Uncultured, crass Americans! We hate all of you! Fu- the Germans are here! Hello Americans! We love you!

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material.

It's nice to be in Washington, where the buck stops here. Way to go. And then it's handed out to AIG and many other people.

The only thing I'm really suited for is the musical version of Congo.

Women! Can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em!

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist.

You can start any Monty Python routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

I called them and told them we were coming and said I didn't know how many we were bringing. They said bring them all. They said even if they had to get cots and line them all up, they would accommodate us. It's been great.

I think that after you get married a third time you have to give up a body part. Larry King would just be a head on a fucking stick.

I thought the purpose of education was to learn to think for yourself.

I'm going to go to Kennebunkport and see if they respond any quicker!

Our freedoms are under siege - for our own good, they tell us.

We're dealing with fundamentalists... the Amish are fundamentalists, but they don't try and hijack a carriage at needlepoint. And, if you're ever in Amish country and you see a man with his hand buried in a horse's ass, that's a mechanic. Remember that.

On stage you're free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you'd be arrested.