Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 5

In California, we are a sixty percent Hispanic state, we elected an Austrian governor. Even old Nazis are going "That's weird."

You'd think all of these "atypical" somethings would add up to a typical something.

Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table's ready."

She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.

But only in their dreams can men be truly free It was always thus and always thus will be.

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

We constantly stress defense and that was the difference.

They're talking about partial nuclear disarmament, which is also like talking about partial circumcision - you either go all the way or forget it.

What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees?

The definition of insanity is repeating the same action expecting a different outcome. And we elected him the second time, the whole world went "what the fuck is going on with you people?"

Go pump some neurons. Expand your craniums.

What is a stealth bomber? It's a bomber that doesn't show up on radar, and you can't see it. Then we don't need one.

They tell me now that SpongeBob is gay. SquarePants is not gay. Tight pants maybe. SpongeBob Hot Pants? You go, girl!

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.

It isn’t about understanding, it’s about not giving up.