Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 5

The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?"

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

In California, we are a sixty percent Hispanic state, we elected an Austrian governor. Even old Nazis are going "That's weird."

We constantly stress defense and that was the difference.

What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees?

The definition of insanity is repeating the same action expecting a different outcome. And we elected him the second time, the whole world went "what the fuck is going on with you people?"

I have one question for the ladies: Do we look like this?

What is a stealth bomber? It's a bomber that doesn't show up on radar, and you can't see it. Then we don't need one.

You don't need cocaine! There's another way to get real high, and really mess your mind up, it's called marathon running!

They tell me now that SpongeBob is gay. SquarePants is not gay. Tight pants maybe. SpongeBob Hot Pants? You go, girl!

It isn’t about understanding, it’s about not giving up.

These people are so rich they don't get crabs... they get lobsters

You must strive to find your own voice. Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all.

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus.

When exactly did Ted Kennedy become Jabba the Hutt? He's not a macy's day float! Bring him down it's time for elections!