Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 5

Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table's ready."

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

They're talking about partial nuclear disarmament, which is also like talking about partial circumcision - you either go all the way or forget it.

We constantly stress defense and that was the difference.

I have one question for the ladies: Do we look like this?

You don't need cocaine! There's another way to get real high, and really mess your mind up, it's called marathon running!

What is a stealth bomber? It's a bomber that doesn't show up on radar, and you can't see it. Then we don't need one.

The definition of insanity is repeating the same action expecting a different outcome. And we elected him the second time, the whole world went "what the fuck is going on with you people?"

What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees?

She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.

You must strive to find your own voice. Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all.

Go pump some neurons. Expand your craniums.

They tell me now that SpongeBob is gay. SquarePants is not gay. Tight pants maybe. SpongeBob Hot Pants? You go, girl!

It isn’t about understanding, it’s about not giving up.

These people are so rich they don't get crabs... they get lobsters