Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 6

209 quotes

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus.

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.

When exactly did Ted Kennedy become Jabba the Hutt? He's not a macy's day float! Bring him down it's time for elections!

We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

He went from looking like a Greek god to becoming Buddha: quiet, contained, but so powerful... And he's such a fighter. I thought, "He's going to the hospital, he'll be OK, he'll come out."

I love running cross country... On a track, I feel like a hamster.

Gradual school is where you go to school and you gradually find out you don't want to go to school anymore.

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?

Don't mess with me, man, I'm a lawyer!

Whenever a big white man picks up a banjo, my cheeks tighten.

Self-reliance is the key to a vigorous life. A man must look inward to find his own answers.

Carpe per diem - seize the check.

Isn't this posh? I'll bet you need credit references just to get in the pool.

Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot-tall RAT!

Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its students.