Quotes & Jokes by Rodney Dangerfield / page 18
I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!
She was so ugly that when two men broke into her apartment and she yelled "rape" they yelled "nooooooo".
I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!
I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.
I told my doctor I got water on my knee, he gave me a sponge and raised his fee!
I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum!
Why, her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.
Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
My childhood was bad. No father. Mother was greedy and brought me up awful - never made me breakfast once. I don't want to get started. One story is worse than another.
Oh, last week was a rough week. I noticed my gums were shrinking. I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H.
She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets.