Quotes & Jokes by Steve Martin / page 7
Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
Let us just say: I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it, because I was so happy all the time.
These days it's hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make.
You're like an energy vampire. You suck the life out of people and take the fun out of being a lawyer.
All of a sudden I had to remember some words that Marlowe had told me over fifteen years ago: "Dead men don't wear plaid." Hmm... Dead men don't wear plaid. I still don't know what it means.
I believe in eight of the ten commandments; and I believe in going to church every Sunday unless there's a game on.
There are some people that will not pick up a phone and call you, but if you knock on a door and talk to them, they'll talk back to you.
What is a movie star? A movie star is many things. They can be tall, short, thin, or skinny. They can be Democrats... or skinny.
These days it's hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make.
Yeah, well, we're all writers, aren't we? He's a writer that hasn't been published, and I'm a writer who hasn't written anything.
When someone less capable is ahead of me, I am not pleased. It makes me insane.