Quotes & Jokes by Steve Martin / page 6

Hold it El Guapo! Or I'll pump you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil!

You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

They're going to ask those questions.

I am a wild and crazy guy!

Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey.

Comedy is not pretty.

I never touched a gun in my life. That and that alone forever doomed me to middle management.

I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.

The environment changed with Martha Stewart and Enron.

I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.

There's someone out there for everyone - even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.

Let us just say: I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it, because I was so happy all the time.

Well, we're just gonna have to use our brains.

Private companies have a lot of capital. They can run things efficiently and get projects built.