Quotes & Jokes by Steve Martin / page 6

You kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again.

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

I never touched a gun in my life. That and that alone forever doomed me to middle management.

I am a wild and crazy guy!

They're going to ask those questions.

Well, we're just gonna have to use our brains.

Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey.

These days it's hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make.

Comedy is not pretty.

I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.

The environment changed with Martha Stewart and Enron.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

Private companies have a lot of capital. They can run things efficiently and get projects built.

It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.

Let us just say: I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it, because I was so happy all the time.