Quotes & Jokes by Steve Martin / page 10

Were they beautiful? We were all beautiful. We were in our twenties.

I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers.

I didn’t worry if a bit got no response, as long as I believed it had enough response to linger.

I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.

She is nearing forty and not so easily forgiven as when her skin bloomed like roses.

With a cheery delicacy she divided my obsessions into three categories: acceptable, unacceptable, and hilarious.

You can’t make something beautiful by trying to make something beautiful. Something becomes beautiful in the process of trying to be something else.

Just to be on the front row here is a bit of a prize in itself.

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.

When I first found out that I was going to win this award, I tried really hard - to care. And then I realized; we are all here tonight, because of a common love: me.

If you've got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've got 71 cents left; But if you've got seventeen grand and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've still got seventeen grand. There's a math lesson for you.

She was feeling her bohemian oats.

While my fervent hope is we can get the entire amount. I think we need to have some idea what we would lose.

All of those things make it look like a really hard transaction to pull off. But it can be done.

It is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart.