Quotes & Jokes by Steve Martin / page 10

It's almost as if someone took a saltine cracker, crumbled it and threw it in the air. These casinos were barges, on the water, and they were destroyed.

I saw the movie, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and I was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realised why: they're crouching and hidden.

When you’re reaching for a star, there’s a long way to fall.

And now, I'm pleased to introduce the star of the film Gladiator, and a man I like to call a close, personal friend, but he told me not to...

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.

I didn’t worry if a bit got no response, as long as I believed it had enough response to linger.

When I first found out that I was going to win this award, I tried really hard - to care. And then I realized; we are all here tonight, because of a common love: me.

I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers.

Were they beautiful? We were all beautiful. We were in our twenties.

It is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart.

She was feeling her bohemian oats.

Just to be on the front row here is a bit of a prize in itself.

She is nearing forty and not so easily forgiven as when her skin bloomed like roses.

You can’t make something beautiful by trying to make something beautiful. Something becomes beautiful in the process of trying to be something else.

It was easier to sell a painting that was not for sale.