Quotes & Jokes by Steve Martin / page 4

It's pain that changes our lives.

You cannot make your opportunities concur with the opportunities of people whose incomes are ten times greater than yours.

It's kind of a dream come true, because we've always loved these films. We've loved this character, and now we have the opportunity to not remake the movie, but to play these characters. It's like playing Hamlet.

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

Wow! You're a genius. You're like the Ernest Hemingway of bullshit.

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

You know when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea: have a point. It makes it so much more interesting for the listener!

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

It eventually appeared to be me, cinematically. When I was writing it I was actually an author, you know, writing a book. ... But there certainly is a difference in energy between a younger man and an older man.

Ladies and gentlemen, I can envision a day when the brains of brilliant men can be kept alive in the bodies of dumb people!

You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.

The presence of excessive wealth puts an unnatural spin on the appreciation of art.

Women have choices, and men have responsibilities.

Comedians don`t get Oscars, so I gave up on that a long time ago. And I can`t really speak about the Oscar-worthiness of my own performance.

I know we've only known each other 4 weeks and 3 days, but to me it seems like 9 weeks and 5 days.