643 quotes
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
How can there be self-help groups?
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
I have the oldest typewriter in the world. It types in pencil.
I was arrested for selling illegal-sized paper.
So, do you live around here often?
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.
I'm taking La maze classes. I'm not having a baby, I'm just having trouble breathing.
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers. He hates New York.
