643 quotes
The speed of time is one second per second.
What's another word for Thesaurus?
I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
I was once arrested for resisting arrest.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Do fish get cramps after eating?
I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Do radioactive cats have eighteen half-lives?
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
He asked me if I knew what time it was. I said, "Yes, but not right now."
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence.
