Quotes & Jokes by Steven Wright / page 42
643 quotes
I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle.
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
I have a large seashell collection which I keep scattered on the beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen it.
I bought a cheap piece of land... It was on someone else’s property.
The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.
When I was 10, my pa told me never to talk to strangers... we haven't spoken since.