Quotes & Jokes by Wanda Sykes / page 3
Some black people want to get in touch with their African roots. But then you got some black people that just don't give a damn. You tell them, 'Hey, I just got back from the motherland.' They're like, 'Where'd you go - Detroit? Did you see The Temptations?'
When you get married, you stand there and you say 'Til death do you part.' That's what you say in the marriage vows - make that vow, stay together forever. The divorce rate is sky high, so everybody's just lying their asses off. Why don't we come clean? Let's be honest, you know? Instead of standing there saying 'Til death do you part,' let's just go, 'I'll give it a shot.'
But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.
With a black president, I can relax... I can dance in public... I can buy a whole watermelon now.
If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.
Our air quality's all messed up now. Knew that was coming when they lowered the emissions standards. Knew that was gonna happen when he appointed Christine Whitman head of the EPA. Yeah, the governor of New Jersey is head of the Environmental Protection Agency. Do you know how dirty New Jersey is?
If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.
You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs.
Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.
L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving 'cause it interferes with my drinking.
If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.