Quotes & Jokes by Wanda Sykes / page 4
L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving 'cause it interferes with my drinking.
When we say we want you to get in touch with your feminine side, we really mean you need to touch our clit.
I love doing stand-up, because it gives me the freedom to say what I really want to say. I think that's why it's my favorite thing to do.
Comedy Central, they told me I had to watch my language because, the woman said, they had 'standards and practices.' I was like, wait a minute - you're Comedy Central. Aren't you the network where your number one show is a cartoon with a talking piece of shit?
It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.
And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.
It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh.
I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.
I know every time I fly, I get checked twice: they stop me at security, and then, they get me again at the gate. And last time, it was so bad, they actually made me go through the machine with the luggage.
I like doing a bunch of different things, being all over the place.
I went to this one strip club with the guys after the show and we get to the strip club and they actually tried to charge me a cover, can you believe that...you want me to pay...I was like pay are you out your damn mind..come on man I brought my own titties"
We have to get out there and touch the people and let them know that you are thinking about them and to try and lift their spirits and get awareness out there to the rest of the country.