Quotes & Jokes by Woody Allen / page 13
Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there possibility of a group discount?
Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
It's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too much, it kills you.... you've got to find an answer to the question: Why go on?
The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.
Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.
I remember when I was a little boy, I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in Braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
Nothing like a little post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete.
I'm astounded by people who want to "know" the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.