Quotes & Jokes by Woody Allen / page 15
Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.
Some men are heterosexual, and some men are homosexual, and some men don't think about sex at all. They become lawyers.
In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.
I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
I wanted to be an arch-criminal as a child, before I discovered I was too short.
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.