Quotes & Jokes by Woody Allen / page 16

The heart wants what it wants.

Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

There are three things Jewish people worship - God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.

When I’m not working, I think and I think when I get depressed.

The wicked at heart probably know something.

I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.

Better not think too much. Relying more on the body: it is more trustworthy.

It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.

Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end.

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Recently there has been a lot of controversy between the countries, and I would hope that now the two countries could put all that behind them and start to build on what really has been a great friendship.

Life is for the living.

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.