Quotes & Jokes by Woody Allen / page 17

A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.

Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Recently there has been a lot of controversy between the countries, and I would hope that now the two countries could put all that behind them and start to build on what really has been a great friendship.

This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?

My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.

Life is for the living.

Raised by two mothers... wow, most of us barely survive one.

You think the President of the United States wants to fuck every woman he meets?.. Well, bad example.

I recently turned sixty. Practically a third of my life is over.

No matter how cynical you are, you can't keep up.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.

A lot of things have happened in my private life recently that I thought we could review tonight.

Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.