Quotes & Jokes by Woody Allen / page 18

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Life is for the living.

I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.

I love money, strictly for financial reasons.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.

Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake?

I believe people ought to mate for life... like pigeons or Catholics.

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.

Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.

Where am I, anyhow? I mean, what happened to everybody?

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!