Quotes & Jokes by Woody Allen / page 21

Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

At the moment it's just a Notion, but with a bit of backing I think I could turn it into Concept, and then an Idea.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.

I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win.

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said "No."

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

My ex-wife claimed she was violated. Knowing my ex-wife, it wasn’t a moving violation.