Quotes & Jokes by Woody Allen / page 23
It's something that occurs to me many times in my movies. They can often be treated comically or dramatically, and I usually opt to treat them comically. But it occurred to me that you could get a story and you could fool around with it both ways.
I do not know if God exists, but if there is, I hope he has a good excuse!
I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion... but it won't get much sleep.
You always think another time would have been ideal for you... the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said "No."
You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win.
I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher - they are going to make a board game out of it.
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Engrave this Quote Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.
Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can get between the right man and the right woman.
There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dark about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?