Quotes & Jokes by Woody Allen / page 4
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
It's worse than dog eats dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I could tell by the sound of your voice over the phone. Very authoritative you know, like the Pope or the computer in 2001.
You only live once, but once is more than enough if you live it well!
Oh, now there's only one kind of love that lasts. That's unrequited love. It stays with you forever.
I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion.
Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill 'em.
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.