Quotes & Jokes by Woody Allen / page 6
Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.
So then, what do you believe in? Sex and death. Two things that come once in my lifetime. But at least after death you're not nauseous.
I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
I never think I feel cynical in general. Cynical is reality with an alternate spelling. I feel there's a gigantic amount of injustice and overt crime every day in the world, from emotional crimes to international crimes, and it often carries rewards.
My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.
I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you can play the piano.