Quotes & Jokes about Dogs / page 9

I bought a pedigree dog for 300$. My friend said, "Give me 300$ and I'll shit on your carpet."

As anyone who's ever adopted a dog will tell you, there's always the fear that one day the birth parents will come scratching at the door...

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light.

I don’t have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don't want to watch the dog doing them.

My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.

If you’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog, you might be a redneck.

I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.

The expression "working like a dog" dates back to a time in America when men would rise early, then lie around all day and lick their balls.

If my dog wants to know why I didn't feed him this morning, he may want to rethink walking out of the room when I'm telling him a joke.

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

You might be a redneck if you think cur is a breed of dog.

It is incredible to me that the whole street has to listen to your fucking dog.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.