Quotes & Jokes about Dogs / page 9

But I’ve often said that if I had - I have two dogs - if I had two retarded children, I’d be a hero. And yet the dogs, which are pretty much the same thing. What? They’re sweet. They’re loving. They’re kind, but they don’t mentally advance at all. Dogs are like retarded children.

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light.

As anyone who's ever adopted a dog will tell you, there's always the fear that one day the birth parents will come scratching at the door...

I don’t have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don't want to watch the dog doing them.

My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.

If you’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog, you might be a redneck.

I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.

If my dog wants to know why I didn't feed him this morning, he may want to rethink walking out of the room when I'm telling him a joke.

The expression "working like a dog" dates back to a time in America when men would rise early, then lie around all day and lick their balls.

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

You might be a redneck if you think cur is a breed of dog.

It is incredible to me that the whole street has to listen to your fucking dog.

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.