Quotes & Jokes about Dogs / page 9

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light.

I don’t have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.

My wife got us a catalog of stuff just for our dogs. 42 pages of things just for our dogs. She bought a feeding dish this high off the ground. I said, “What does he need that for?”, and she says, “So he don’t got to bend his neck to eat!” I just saw him licking his own ass! Excuse me for thinking he’s limber enough to eat! She said, “It helps his digestion!” I said, “His digestion’s just fine! I pick it up out of the yard every morning.”

As anyone who's ever adopted a dog will tell you, there's always the fear that one day the birth parents will come scratching at the door...

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don't want to watch the dog doing them.

If you’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog, you might be a redneck.

My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.

I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.

If my dog wants to know why I didn't feed him this morning, he may want to rethink walking out of the room when I'm telling him a joke.

You might be a redneck if you think cur is a breed of dog.

The expression "working like a dog" dates back to a time in America when men would rise early, then lie around all day and lick their balls.

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

It is incredible to me that the whole street has to listen to your fucking dog.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.