Quotes & Jokes about Dogs / page 8
You have no control over your cat! You can't say to your cat, "Cat, heel! Stay! Wait! Lie down! Roll over!" 'Cause the cat's just gonna be sitting there going, "Interesting words … have you finished?" While you're shouting all this to your cat, your dog's next to you, going … "What the hell are you doing? I'm talking to the cat!" "Oh, I'm sorry!"
You might be a redneck if you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner.
I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.
I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.
Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.
She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt?
Dogs: the best friend you will ever have that pees on your couch and stays your friend.
You look like something the dog just buried in the backyard and is trying to forget where.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the dog's owner - and the distance you are from your car.
My life’s pretty easy, which is never good for comedy. I have a great relationship, a nice little house, a couple of dogs and cats and nice friends - there’s no jokes in that. I should fuck things up just for a business move.
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.