Quotes & Jokes about Dogs / page 8
You might be a redneck if you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner.
I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.
I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.
Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt?
Dogs: the best friend you will ever have that pees on your couch and stays your friend.
Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch.
My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.
She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
You look like something the dog just buried in the backyard and is trying to forget where.
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
My life’s pretty easy, which is never good for comedy. I have a great relationship, a nice little house, a couple of dogs and cats and nice friends - there’s no jokes in that. I should fuck things up just for a business move.
I bought a pedigree dog for 300$. My friend said, "Give me 300$ and I'll shit on your carpet."