Quotes & Jokes about Halloween / page 2
Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
Halloween is the only day I can dress up like a hot Latina woman with a beer belly.
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
I couldn't get away with Halloween pranks 'cause my parents owned the health food store. So, it was so easy to bust me. I was the only kid on the block egging houses with those big 'ole brown eggs. Like, you didn't have to be a detective to figure it out. 'Oh, I wonder who Tofuttied my mailbox. Is it the same evil genius who filled my bird bath with Rice Dream?'
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?'
In the midst of all the candy and commercialism, let's not lose sight of the true meaning of Halloween: tree worship and animal sacrifice.
I'm not big on Halloween. I never have been. As a kid my parents would send me out to collect for UNICEF, which just screws up the whole holiday. You're wearing a costume and people are giving you pennies and you're going, "Well, give me some candy, you fuck." And the grown-ups tell you, "Absolutely not. You've got your pennies. Now go build a village, you little shit." It still brings a tear to my eye.
Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. "Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!"
Do transvestites have to dress up for Halloween or do they pretty much qualify from the get-go?