Quotes & Jokes by Adam Sandler / page 3

I think the reason I don't read is because, when I'm reading, I feel like I'm missing out on something else. You know, What are my friends doing? Where's my girlfriend?

My movies just kind of sneak up on you. I don't have to worry too much about what everybody is going to say. Anyway, I really don't pay attention to what the world says about my movies. I just care about what my buddies think.

Never seen my friends do more push-ups, trying to challenge Cruises' manhood. It was like, "I can be strong, too!"

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don't know if I'll ever be as good a dad as my dad.

When I'm up there, and I know the show's coming to a close, in my head I'm saying to myself, Oh man, you gotta get off and be a normal person again. That's what I don't like so much.

I do want children. I study dads more. I watch what they go through. I admire my father more than I ever did and my brother and my sister.

My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

I'd like to have a kid, and I'd like to be driving around. I know a kid is going to be a big part of my life. I can trust my kid. I know my kid would be in the backseat of my car, and when I say "You wanna get some ice-cream?" he's going to be happy. My brother has kids. I see that trick work, the ice cream trick.

Mama says that, alligators are onry cause they got all them teeth, but no toothbrush...

Its too hot for a penguin out here come here mister penguin.

I still get very scared when I step in front of a live audience.

I noticed you all were French, opposite of bonjour to you.

First I asked her what time it is, right? Tomorrow I get to ask her the date, the day after that she's all over me. That's how it works, you play it slow.

Stop looking at me swan.

Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or talking.