Quotes & Jokes by Chris Tucker
Guns don’t kill people. Stupid motherfuckers with guns kill people.
A nigga so broke these days somebody rob me they just be practicing.
Weed is from tha earth. God put this here for me and you. Take advantage man, take advantage!
They call you 'Pops',you work in the library and your best friend's a mouse.
You aint 180lbs. You weight more than a damn car girl.
Puff puff, give. Puff puff, give. You're fuckin' up tha rotation.
I think all the knowledge and all the travels that I've done, I'm going to do a lot of great work in the future.
You don't know who you messing with man, I slap people for fun. That's what I do man! You wanna play rough, huh, I kill for fun!
I tell people that stand-up's like golf: you gotta do it every day to get it down - or at least three times a week to get it down.
You know, we're missing so much as African-Americans and we should be concerned about what's going on in Africa.
I wanted to cut down on the profanity, because I think I'm funnier without sayin' a lot of cuss words.
I'ma whip your ass! You, me, him! Everybody's ass around here!
I've actually tried to give Brett Ratner dance lessons, but he thinks he already knows how to.
A black President? Now come on y'all, we got Clinton, that's close. He got negro tendencies.
Everybody goes through a lot of the same things, and I talk about those, and that's the key. You have to connect with your audience, and I might take them on a trip with me, tell them I went here and I went there and they'll go with me, you know, to hear the stories.