Quotes and Jokes by David Alan Grier

I think Chelsea Handler is the funniest woman.

I try to make my bed every day for mental health. Coming home to an unmade bed or a room with clothes all over will depress me.

I couldn't wait to be, you know, a Black Panther. Of course they wouldn't let me join.

Every little kid has always wanted to be a race car driver. This gets some of that out.

'Dancing With the Stars' is so Middle America, and people take it so seriously.

America is grappling with cultural diversity, and I just want to put a show on that represents the world in which I live.

My father contracted polio on a troop train in Korea.

When I was a kid, I wanted to walk with my dad's limp - my dad was my hero - but that infuriated him, and he would make me walk back and forth in the living room until I walked without it.

To be known by the public, honestly. People come up and tell them how good I make them feel.

Some days I think I look kind of cute, but other days I try to avoid the mirror.

My grandmother was born in 1900, and she would regale me with tales I call 'Little House on the Prairie' tales, but they were tales of segregated and racist America growing up in Alabama and Mississippi, where she came from.

I, myself, identify myself as a heathen.

Be talented enough to make it and stupid enough to keep trying.

I wanted to be a leading man - the black lawyer, the black doctor, the black policeman.

I wanted something where I could have the clearest and most unfiltered artistic and creative voice.