Quotes and Jokes by David Alan Grier

I think Chelsea Handler is the funniest woman.

I try to make my bed every day for mental health. Coming home to an unmade bed or a room with clothes all over will depress me.

I couldn't wait to be, you know, a Black Panther. Of course they wouldn't let me join.

Every little kid has always wanted to be a race car driver. This gets some of that out.

'Dancing With the Stars' is so Middle America, and people take it so seriously.

America is grappling with cultural diversity, and I just want to put a show on that represents the world in which I live.

My father contracted polio on a troop train in Korea.

When I was a kid, I wanted to walk with my dad's limp - my dad was my hero - but that infuriated him, and he would make me walk back and forth in the living room until I walked without it.

To be known by the public, honestly. People come up and tell them how good I make them feel.

Some days I think I look kind of cute, but other days I try to avoid the mirror.

I, myself, identify myself as a heathen.

Be talented enough to make it and stupid enough to keep trying.

My grandmother was born in 1900, and she would regale me with tales I call 'Little House on the Prairie' tales, but they were tales of segregated and racist America growing up in Alabama and Mississippi, where she came from.

I wanted to be a leading man - the black lawyer, the black doctor, the black policeman.

I wanted something where I could have the clearest and most unfiltered artistic and creative voice.