Quotes & Jokes by Craig Ferguson / page 17
I think we look back at times past with fondness because we were younger. Life had not yet begun pecking away at our innocence like buzzards on fresh road kill.
Don't ever rope me in as a late-night talk show host. I don't want to be one.
Historically, when Americans don't know what to do next, they go to Paris. Benjamin Franklin is like: 'What am I going to do now? I'll go to Paris!'
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning.
Why do people do things that they fear? It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.
Appear tougher or cooler or funnier than you feel and there is a chance you’ll make it.
It's like, it's kind of like if you ever had a car and it was a bit of a clunker but you love it, that's my show. It's a bit of a clunker but I know where everything is and I like it.
Late night is no different than making a film, really, except that it's faster, and if you do a crap one, you can do a better one tomorrow. Writing a novel and doing stand-up - that stuff is very similar.
Friday's turmoil in global markets looks set to continue to exert a dominant force on the foreign exchange markets. The usual trend when U.S. stocks fall is that the U.S. dollar suffers.
This story is true. Of course, there are many lies therein and most of it did not happen, but it's all true. In that sense it is deeply religious, perhaps even biblical.