Quotes & Jokes about Family / page 3

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

Well it`s been a few years now and I`ve done some crazy stuff, you know... but I reconnected with what made me famous, with that show and that family, and I went back to my stand-up where I can be myself completely.

Everybody's family has different values.

There's not many a man who would get shot and then come visit the family responsible.

It was like a family reunion, watching the movie. It's always a good feeling when I can get a screening for my family.

When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.

I love my family. I came home the other days. My brother's passed-out on the couch, holding an empty bottle of sleeping pills. So I called the paramedics, and they pumped his stomach, and I think he's learned his lesson: you know, never to take my last two sleeping pills.

The great thing about having a small family is that there are fewer people to disappoint.

If you don't get it right with your first family, you can always do it again with another.