Quotes & Jokes about Family / page 3
I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.
Well it`s been a few years now and I`ve done some crazy stuff, you know... but I reconnected with what made me famous, with that show and that family, and I went back to my stand-up where I can be myself completely.
I love my family but my family - they're the type of people that never let you forget anything you ever did when you were little. I was in the first grade Christmas play - I'm playing Mary. Now, during the course of the play, I dropped the baby Jesus. They act like I dropped the baby Jesus. So now, they still talk about this. I go to my family reunion, and one of my cousins just had a baby. So I'm like, 'Oh, that's a cute little baby. Let me hold the baby. Let me see the baby.' And my aunt runs over, 'Don't you give her that baby! You know she dropped the baby Jesus!'
It was like a family reunion, watching the movie. It's always a good feeling when I can get a screening for my family.
There's not many a man who would get shot and then come visit the family responsible.
When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.
I love my family. I came home the other days. My brother's passed-out on the couch, holding an empty bottle of sleeping pills. So I called the paramedics, and they pumped his stomach, and I think he's learned his lesson: you know, never to take my last two sleeping pills.
The great thing about having a small family is that there are fewer people to disappoint.