Quotes & Jokes about Family / page 3

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

Without my family, I'd be something.

Well it`s been a few years now and I`ve done some crazy stuff, you know... but I reconnected with what made me famous, with that show and that family, and I went back to my stand-up where I can be myself completely.

There's not many a man who would get shot and then come visit the family responsible.

It was like a family reunion, watching the movie. It's always a good feeling when I can get a screening for my family.

When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.

I love my family. I came home the other days. My brother's passed-out on the couch, holding an empty bottle of sleeping pills. So I called the paramedics, and they pumped his stomach, and I think he's learned his lesson: you know, never to take my last two sleeping pills.

If you don't get it right with your first family, you can always do it again with another.

The great thing about having a small family is that there are fewer people to disappoint.