Quotes & Jokes about Girlfriends / page 5
She got really mad a month ago, because she had e-mailed me a naked picture of herself - which is a nice thing to do - but then I messed up, and I accidentally forwarded that e-mail to both of my parents. Now, my girlfriend is furious, mortified, but I don't even care, 'cause now I have to call up my mother and say 'Mom, I am so sorry - that picture was just for dad.'
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
And then I realized I was being checked out by guys! And I know they were checking me out, because they were looking at me like I look at tacos. And I thought to myself, "Oh my god, I can turn on a man! Shoot!" And I called my girlfriend, and I said, "Baby, you better not mess this up; I have options!"
Tragically, my last girlfriend couldn't cook to save her life.
I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
First of all never buy a man a plasma TV until youre married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend.
I don't know what possessed me, but yesterday I yelled out the wrong name in the middle of my girlfriend's funeral.
Most guys don't realize that when they're having sex with their girlfriend, their also having sex with everyone I've had sex with, too.
My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, "You need to meet other people."
I'm having trouble convincing my girlfriend to start a fight club.
One of my girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern.
If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
My girlfriend is pregnant. She asked me if we should have it and I said yes. We should have it cremated.
I was at the mall the other day, looking for a job, girlfriend, pretzel.