Quotes & Jokes about Girlfriends / page 5
My black-eye and fat lip suggests that 'up the backside'... was definitely the wrong answer, when my girlfriend asked me 'where are you taking me for my birthday?'
And then I realized I was being checked out by guys! And I know they were checking me out, because they were looking at me like I look at tacos. And I thought to myself, "Oh my god, I can turn on a man! Shoot!" And I called my girlfriend, and I said, "Baby, you better not mess this up; I have options!"
Man, what a rough night I had. My inflatable girlfriend ran off with my air matress.
I don't know what possessed me, but yesterday I yelled out the wrong name in the middle of my girlfriend's funeral.
I'm getting pretty worried. My girlfriend hasn't gotten her period. And she's already 14.
First of all never buy a man a plasma TV until youre married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend.
My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, "You need to meet other people."
Most guys don't realize that when they're having sex with their girlfriend, their also having sex with everyone I've had sex with, too.
Tragically, my last girlfriend couldn't cook to save her life.
I'm having trouble convincing my girlfriend to start a fight club.
One of my girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern.
It's tough, but I try to wait until the second date before I bring up my dead girlfriends.
I was at the mall the other day, looking for a job, girlfriend, pretzel.
My girlfriend is pregnant. She asked me if we should have it and I said yes. We should have it cremated.