Quotes & Jokes about Girlfriends / page 4
I'm screwed. My girlfriend just found my massive porno collection. DVDs, magazines and hard drives. All over at her sister's place.
My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
I thought my girlfriend told me I was her soul mate, but what she said was 'cell mate.'
And I don’t want you thinking that my girlfriend is a bad person. She is an amazing woman, the fact that I only have seven stories about her in eight years, says a lot. You know, don’t get me wrong, five of them happened this year, but that’s still way below the bar, you know what I am saying.
The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
My roommate in LA used to punch his girlfriend in the stomach. I could never believe what a bitch she was.
I like my mom's cooking a little better than my girlfriend's. But I don't tell my girlfriend that. I tell my girlfriend her cooking sucks.
I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to my girlfriend. But first, I'd probably burn my clothes.
I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
My girlfriend asked me if I only love her for her body. I said no, baby. Just parts of it.
My girlfriend is pregnant. But we've already decided to give it up for abduction.
The better alternative to fighting a guy, go have sex with his girlfriend. That's how you knock a dude out!
She got really mad a month ago, because she had e-mailed me a naked picture of herself - which is a nice thing to do - but then I messed up, and I accidentally forwarded that e-mail to both of my parents. Now, my girlfriend is furious, mortified, but I don't even care, 'cause now I have to call up my mother and say 'Mom, I am so sorry - that picture was just for dad.'