Quotes & Jokes about Girlfriends / page 4
It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends.
My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
I thought my girlfriend told me I was her soul mate, but what she said was 'cell mate.'
And I don’t want you thinking that my girlfriend is a bad person. She is an amazing woman, the fact that I only have seven stories about her in eight years, says a lot. You know, don’t get me wrong, five of them happened this year, but that’s still way below the bar, you know what I am saying.
My roommate in LA used to punch his girlfriend in the stomach. I could never believe what a bitch she was.
I like my mom's cooking a little better than my girlfriend's. But I don't tell my girlfriend that. I tell my girlfriend her cooking sucks.
I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to my girlfriend. But first, I'd probably burn my clothes.
My girlfriend is pregnant. But we've already decided to give it up for abduction.
She got really mad a month ago, because she had e-mailed me a naked picture of herself - which is a nice thing to do - but then I messed up, and I accidentally forwarded that e-mail to both of my parents. Now, my girlfriend is furious, mortified, but I don't even care, 'cause now I have to call up my mother and say 'Mom, I am so sorry - that picture was just for dad.'
I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
My girlfriend asked me if I only love her for her body. I said no, baby. Just parts of it.
The better alternative to fighting a guy, go have sex with his girlfriend. That's how you knock a dude out!
And then I realized I was being checked out by guys! And I know they were checking me out, because they were looking at me like I look at tacos. And I thought to myself, "Oh my god, I can turn on a man! Shoot!" And I called my girlfriend, and I said, "Baby, you better not mess this up; I have options!"