Quotes & Jokes about Hell / page 2

What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?

Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven.

Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?

So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.

'I was in heaven and I was in hell, believe in neither but fear them as well'... damn! Were you really in heaven and were you in hell? Here on earth or did you visit another land? This fucking jerk off…

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell.

If there is hell, it was modeled after junior high school.

I had my hands around his neck but then I saw my bracelet. What would Jesus do?? So I lit him on fire and sent him to hell.

When an evil masochist dies, does he go to hell, or would heaven be a better punishment?

Revenge is for the weak so I have settled my vendettas with all of the kids who made my early life a living hell.

Satan called - he's changed the sheets, fluffed the pillows and laid out the complimentary chocolate. Hell is ready for John Edwards.

I'm going to hell, ah... but you're laughing, so you're coming.